"For reasons usually unknown, some people are born with physical limitations. Specific parts of the body may be abnormal. Regulatory systems may be out of balance. And all of our bodies are subject to disease and death. Nevertheless, the gift of a physical body is priceless...."

- Elder Russell M Nelson

Here's a link to learn more about Anencephaly http://www.anencephalie-info.org/e/index.php and view pictures if you your self are going through the journey or know someone else who is.

"No matter how difficult the trial, and regardless of how heavy our load, we can take comfort in knowing that others before us have borne life's most grievous trials and tragedies by looking to heaven for peace, comfort, and hopefull assurance. We can know as they knew that God is our Father, that He cares about us individually and collectively, and that as long as we continue to exercise our faith and trust in Him there is nothing to fear in the journey."

--M. Russell Ballard, "You Have Nothing to Fear from the Journey", Ensign, May 1997, 59

A link to my friend Breanne's blog about her special angel Joy http://ourjourneywithjoy.blogspot.com/

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Missing Lexi

Today started out like any normal day. My niece texted me and we took our kids to the Toddler Time at the library at 11am. I had fun. I'm glad I got my butt out of bed and went. I'll definitely be doing it more. Then it was time to take Paige to preschool. We were about to Paige's preschool and then Paige looks up from her "Where's Waldo" book she got from the library and goes, "Mom, what happened to Lexi's brain?" I was takin a little off guard and just responded with a simple answer that it didn't grow, so it didn't work. She responds, "but my brain grew, and Landens grew, and yours grew too huh? So were alive." I just told her yes thats correct. Then she sighs and goes, "Mom....I miss her a lot." I respond, "I miss her a lot too sweetie, do you think about her a lot." And Paige say's "YES I think about her AAALLLOOOOOT!! I think really really hard." And then I was about to loose it, but kept my tears inside cause we were now at her preschool. Once she saw her school she was distracted and happy again, because she loves school and just told me she loved me and hopped out the car and went into school. The moment she was out of my sight, I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down. I was happy to know that Paige does think about her sister a lot and remembers her and loves her just like I do, but I was sad that I couldn't change what happened and I couldn't bring her little sister back to wipe away her sadness.

I do really good most of the time. I'm back to work so I'm super busy. But at unexpected moments is when it gets hard. I'm on a short break at work so I can't write more, but I just needed to write this down for Paige to remember and to have. Thanks for listening and letting me share these feelings with you.
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